Yes Man

I unconsciously trained myself to act on impulses that enter my brain. I remember thinking that I should stop thinking about what I do and just DO! And that's the last time I thought about it. I didn't even have to try to adapt this as a habit of mine. Now? See pillow, get pillow, hit Makel. Boom. Pillow fight with no before thought. At a party no less.
Good example:
I was looking at the job board at school and saw a mother in need of a tutor for Geometry for her kid. The only thing that went through my head was I could probably handle that. Without knowing. Phone. Dial. And I'm talking to Kami talking to her about her kid and this job. Didn't really get the job but that's not the point.
Bad Example:
You know when you think something and you don't say it because its inappropriate or just stupid so somewhere in your mind you think "Hey, don't actually say that". Well . . . the mind screen is gone. Good thing my mind isn't cruel or I wouldn't have friends anymore. But, things have slipped by. I'm a little more annoying, or funny, you decide. Definitely more awkward. Don't introduce me to any of your parents very soon.
And this one time I bit a friend in the shoulder . . . .
Anyways, Its been great. Learned a lot. But unlike Yes Man I did not find an awesome boyfriend. Yes, I do recommend this attitude/behavior. Yes, I'll keep on doing this but somethings I won't.
I only wish my impulse to mac my Lab TA came before I decided to think again.

Signs of Numb Loneliness

-Your cell phone battery lasts longer
-Facebook is boring, to the point when stalking is boring as well
-Your cell phone/computer background is blank . . . or Zac Efron
-You blog a lot
-Start noticing what other people are wearing because you wonder what is wrong with what you're wearing, not often the problem though
-You call your mom a lot, seein what she's up to. Thank you mommy for still loving me even if you tend to get used a lot like this
-Lesbian jokes get a little awkward
-You start checking out the old men. You don't know why.
-You get to do what ever the you want! Which is awesome
-You forget to put on deodorant . . . a lot.

This list isn't supposed to be sad. Its not like any of these things are a bad things, deodorant is bad for the kidneys.

20 Years of Wisdom

I must be an old mana with old man wisdom because I tend to give out advice like condoms at an abstinence fair. Why? I don't know! I've been observing myself from this perma-out of body life I'm living right now. And today I've found out that I tend to give advice from my life. Do I like this trait? This compulsion? Not exactly.
Roommate says, "Wow its weird to see that people from high school are getting engaged."
I insert, "Ya its weird! Pretty soon you'll start feeling like an old maid at nineteen!"
Corn, was that really necessary? It may not seen that bad but I'm a little annoyed. And annoyed that I'm in the perma-out of body experience phase. Constantly judging and changing. I liked who I was, I was ok with it, I liked it. Stupid JD head.
I guess thats all I have to say about that. Forrest Gump!

P.S. Remember when I said a while back that I would always put up pictures because I thought words were boring? Well I guess that's not happening.
P.S.S. Read the book Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, I liked it.
Time is love. . . later sports fans

Blogging the Dream.

Fell asleep and was then revealed all my insecurities.
Its Taco Tuesday time and the gang, Sam, Makel, and I go. Deep in my gut I have a sick feeling about leaving someone. She was never there before but she is now and its my obligation to include. I make it all the way to Cafe Rio but can't take it.
"I'll be back! Can you order me some taco's Makel?" I say.
"Ya man." Replies Makel.
Soon after I return, with said person I don't think so because they don't show up in the dream again.
I sit at the table. Start the Taco Tuesday ritual. Silently eating with an occasional, "I'm so happy I am eating a taco tuesday!" "This is so great!" When I realize that there is no meat in my taco. What. Makel. (Crazy Makel laughter). The heat rushes to my head and face. My heart races. This is NOT funny. She pulls it out of her pocket in a napkin. Woof. I'm livid because I was looking forward to Taco Tuesday all week and it has been RUINED! RUINED!
I don't fight with Makel. I laugh. Playfully punch her in the arm or something. But its hard to breath my mouth yearns for that chicken taco taste so very much.
My parents are at the table next to us.(How? Its a dream know one knows.) Say by to my friends and move to their table to be polite and finish up with them. My gut wrenched without what was expected of coming here to Taco Tuesday. I finish up with them and we head to the parking lot to take me home. We talk, what ever. But then I start lashing out at them. I'm so angry about something. And we're fighting in my Dad's blue and silver chev. I finally get out of the truck and slam the door and start heading up the 1400 South hill to campus. They drive by and I get into the truck again. If you knew me I am the most peaceful child in the whole entire world. And I love my parent more than any other child has ever loved a father or mother. Its true. Ask anyone. So its strange.
I can't remember how my dream ends. No, the dream ends with me lifting my head off the pillow with a pile of drool on my red pillow atop my odious bunk bed.
Analyze my dream psychologist of the world! Or Sam.